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We are less than a week away from our workshop – Say Goodbye to Shame!

We are less than a week away from our workshop – Say Goodbye to Shame!

It is happening THIS SATURDAY and it’s not too late to sign up! At this workshop you will learn what shame is, where it comes from and truth and skills to transform this emotion so you can live more joyfully.

SIGN UP TODAY!

Watch “Carried shame” on YouTube from Bonnie:

June 17th 9 to 12 at the Compass Center

RSVP to info@his-story.org

$30 if you pay ahead, $35 if you pay at the door

Women 16 and up welcome ~ Some partial scholarships available

Brunch included!

By |June 13th, 2017|Categories: Blog, Featured||Comments Off on We are less than a week away from our workshop – Say Goodbye to Shame!

Say Goodbye to Shame—Learn to Accept Yourself

Join us to learn what shame is, where it comes from and how to overcome it.

Watch this fabulous quick lesson on shame from Bonnie:

June 17th 9 to 12 at the Compass Center
RSVP to info@his-story.org
$30 if you pay ahead, $35 if you pay at the door
Women 16 and up welcome ~ Some partial scholarships available
Brunch included!

By |June 6th, 2017|Categories: Blog, Featured||Comments Off on Say Goodbye to Shame—Learn to Accept Yourself

Learning to Accept Yourself (w/ Special Video from Bonnie)

Say Goodbye to Shame—Learn to Accept Yourself

Join us to learn what shame is, where it comes from and how to overcome it.
Watch this fabulous quick lesson on shame from Bonnie:

June 17th 9 to 12 at the Compass Center

RSVP to info@his-story.org
$30 if you pay ahead, $35 if you pay at the door
Women 16 and up welcome ~ Some partial scholarships available
Brunch included!

By |May 31st, 2017|Categories: Blog, Featured||Comments Off on Learning to Accept Yourself (w/ Special Video from Bonnie)

Don’t let shame block you from your potential to love and be loved

Say Goodbye to Shame—Learn to Accept Yourself

It pays to take a closer look at the hard to spot and very overwhelming feeling of shame, but it is so worth it.

Don’t let shame block you from your potential to love and be loved.

Join us to learn what shame is, where it comes from and how to overcome it.
June 17th 9 to 12 at the Compass Center.
RSVP to info@his-story.org $30 if you pay ahead, $35 if you pay at the door.
Women 16 and up welcome.
Brunch included.  Some partial scholarships available

By |May 18th, 2017|Categories: Blog, Featured||Comments Off on Don’t let shame block you from your potential to love and be loved

Honoring Others: Creating Connectedness

Have you ever felt frustrated because you believe someone you love doesn’t understand what you are communicating? This can ignite a fire of anger and hurt feelings because we long for the other person to “understand” our point of view.  However, often we are actually trying to get them to agree with us rather than understand, and that is why we become frustrated. We confuse lack of agreement as meaning the person doesn’t understand us.

We operate under the mistaken belief that if we just state our case clearly enough or with enough conviction, then they will agree with us.

This confusion between agreeing and understanding fuels many relationship problems.  However, what if agreement is not the ultimate goal?   Is it possible to understand someone’s position, yet disagree with their line of thinking?   The answer is yes, we can disagree but understand.  However, understanding is not often enough to put out the fire, but honor is. When we honor someone we give their thoughts and feelings value, even if we don’t agree.  Essentially, we communicate, although I disagree, I will honor you by honoring your request.   So this may look like doing a task that you don’t agree needs to be done, but honoring the person with the action anyways.   It might be not engaging in something a loved one sees as harmful to them or you.   No matter how it takes place, honoring the other is the solution because it values the other person. Understanding followed by honoring the others thoughts can extinguish the flames and create more connectedness.

By |May 4th, 2016|Categories: Blog, Featured, Uncategorized||1 Comment

Courageous Moments

We don’t remember the days of our lives . . . we remember the moments. One of the leaders I’ve watched experience transformational growth just described his experience as; “One of the single most significant moments in my life.”

Transformational moments can’t be predicted or manufactured. They happen suddenly and unexpectedly. While we can’t guarantee when they will happen, we can almost guarantee when they won’t happen. I’ve never had a marker moment when I was merely watching TV or washing my car.

The moments that have shaped me the most have all happened in conversation.Not the casual sort, but the courageous kind that springs from the soil of mutual trust. In her bestselling books, Brene Brown repeatedly talks about courage as a “heart” word. She reminds us that the root of the word courage is cor ― the Latin word for heart. In one of its earliest forms, the word courage meant, “to speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.”

I just had another conversation like that. God has graced me with dozens of quality connections with leaders around the country ― virtually all of them are men younger than I. No surprise there, right? What surprises some is that one of the men I enjoy a head and heart connection with happens to be my successor. In the opinion of some that’s not only unlikely, that’s impossible. Some think that leaders in transition (the one going out and the one coming in) are competitors, not allies. After three years the jury is no longer out on the health of our relationship. It’s strong and that’s no accident. We both dare to speak our mind by telling all of our heart.

Courage isn’t neck up, it’s heart up. Until we are willing to be transparent and […]

By |March 7th, 2016|Categories: Blog, Featured, Uncategorized||Comments Off on Courageous Moments

Change Starts with You!

 

 

If you have been married longer than a day, you have probably found yourself blaming your spouse from some issue in your marriage.  It is easy to get into the trap of thinking,“If only he would________, then I would __________.”  You can fill in the blanks with any issue or problem, and the formula will yield the same result: no result.  The “if only” mindset leaves you focused on the issue and what you believe are the problems in your spouse and keep you stuck in a cycle of frustration and stagnation.

However, there is hope!  You just need a new formula.  Instead of “if only he would_____________, then I would_____________,” formula, try “I will _____________.”  The truth is change starts with you!   If you will begin to focus on your behavior and take responsibility for what you are responsible for, you can begin to create change in yourself, which can lead to change in your marriage.  Try thinking of one thing that you can do different today.  Maybe you can stop rolling your eyes, or pick up your mess without commenting on his.  No matter how small the behavioral change, focus on you.   Change starts with you!

If you or your spouse are interested in learning more skills to help improve the quality of your marriage, consider coming to the 7 Principles That Make Marriage Work  workshop on February 13th from 9 to 12 in the Compass Center.  For more info on the event, see the Workshop tab on our website.

By |February 1st, 2016|Categories: Blog, Featured, Uncategorized||Comments Off on Change Starts with You!

The Greatest Gift

 

Christmas is almost here. As you read, many of you are anticipating what you will open on Christmas morning, hoping at least one of the gifts from your list will be there.  Some of you are awaiting the grinning faces of your children opening gifts that you dutifully and joyfully purchased and wrapped.   While others know there will be no gifts under the tree this year, or maybe no tree at all.

The truth is none of this matters.  Now, don’t get me wrong. I believe that Christmas matters, but the gifts don’t.  The gifts that can come under a tree, are only things.  You can have all the things in the world or no things at all and be empty.  Whether you are rich or poor, you have a family to celebrate with or no family at all, and no matter how many gifts you will give or receive.  I want you to consider this simple truth.  The greatest gift has already been given. It is the person of Jesus.   Who, in all of his majesty and glory was born from a virgin’s womb, sent to the Earth by God the Father to live, die, and resurrect to save us all.  That is the greatest gift of Christmas.

This Christmas, I want you to focus on this great gift, Jesus.   Have you received this gift?   Does your life show the evidence of having received this gift?   How can you share this gift with someone else this Christmas?  Let Jesus change everything this Christmas.  Let him quiet your mind, fill your heart and be fully present with him in this moment. The greatest gift will fill you with joy in spite of your Christmas circumstances.   Soak up […]

By |December 23rd, 2015|Categories: Blog, Featured, Uncategorized||Comments Off on The Greatest Gift

Practicing Presence in the Season of Presents

Let’s face it, there is a lot of noise at Christmas!

Go into a store, and you will hear the noise. The bells ringing outside remind you to donate money. Christmas carols blaring keep you cheery so you will buy more gifts, and the voice of children and adults rattle off their Christmas lists. But that’s just the external noise.

The louder noise plays out in our hearts and minds, the noise of past pain, perhsps the loss of loved one or Christmas wishes that never came true. Past pain tells you“there isn’t hope,” “you can’t get over it,” or “I will always feel sad”…noise.

Then there is the noise of expectation, that little voice in your heads that compares your Christmas to the Christmas of those around you. This voice whispers lies like, “Their family is happier than mine.” “They bought their kids better presents than I did.” This voice, drives you toward whatever you think is ideal, but leaves you feeling deflated when you aren’t able to keep up with Jones’.

And there is also the noise of busyness. “I have to go to the holiday party.” “I have to wrap all the presents.” “I have to decorate the house.” The list goes on. The noise of busyness fills our minds with a long list of “to dos” that keep up distracted, tired, and numb.

With all this external and internal noise, it is difficult be present in the moment during the Christmas season. Past pain, expectations, and busyness pull you out of the present and keep you disengaged from the moment.

When you are listening to all this noise, you don’t truly connect with God, yourself or others, and it is easy to become stressed and depressed by […]

By |December 11th, 2015|Categories: Blog, Featured, Uncategorized||Comments Off on Practicing Presence in the Season of Presents

Holidaze!

As we approach the holiday season, it is easy to get bogged down with the stress of shopping, attending holiday parties, and meeting the expectations of family and friends.  We can easily become hurried, frazzled and down right agitated by what we perceive as the pressure of the holidays.  If we are not careful, the holidays turn into a holidaze!  However, with a few guiding principles, you can lower your holiday stress this season.

1) Set realistic expectations for yourself.  Perfectionism is especially rampant during the holidays as many us try to create the “ideal” for every aspect of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years.  However, if you start off with healthy expectations, you can really reduce your stress.   Pick three things this season that are really important to you and focus on making only those things excellent, not perfect.   Let go of the rest!

2) Let yourself say no!   Many of us are guilty of saying yes to everything and everyone because we want to keep everyone happy.  The trouble is when you say yes to everything you end up exhausted and burnt out.  Instead of everyone being happy, you and those around are disappointed because it is impossible to keep everyone happy!  This holiday season, practice saying no out of love for yourself and others.  Ask yourself these questions to help you know what to say no to:  1) Am I saying yes out of guilt to make another person happy?  If the answer is yes, change it to no!  2) Is this event/thing a priority for me or a close loved one? If it is not a priority, say no! 3) Will saying yes deplete or increase my energy and ability to love God, myself […]

By |November 23rd, 2015|Categories: Blog, Featured, Uncategorized||Comments Off on Holidaze!